i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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