Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
