So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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