My brain says no but my pants say off.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
