Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
