so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
