I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
