Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
