thus making me awesome and them whores
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
