you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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