How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
