Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
