A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
