This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
