I feel great
I just peed on a car
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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