you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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