I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
