my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
