your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
