I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
