Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
