So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
