yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
