at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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