In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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