i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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