I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
