Don't you send me to vm
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
