you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
