The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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