Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
