Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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