Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
