We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
