A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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