Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
