i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they need to just BURY HIM!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
