how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
