Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
