Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
