Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
