sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
