I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
