She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
