Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
