have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
