sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
