I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
