is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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