Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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